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| Photo: dustyrhodes2012 |
Sex, secrets, lies,
phone calls, private emails, staying out all night, flirting, deception, etc.
are all signs of infidelity. It begins with the attraction of meeting someone, exchanging
information while flirtatious acts occur. Let’s say a couple been together for
many years and one decides to step out of the relationship, that’s a red flag. This
could be for many reasons or simply being a little stale but surviving
none-the-less. The culprit start making excuses to get away, work late etc.
Something “new” in your partner have emerged suddenly on the scene via new
clothes, cologne/perfume, hair cut, dieting/exercising etc. These noticeable
signs reveal itself and your instincts kick in.
How
you, the victim, deal with this could become crucial. If you snoop around for something,
you may not like your findings. On the flip side you could show insecurity and
make false accusations towards your innocent partner from being paranoid. Concrete
evidence overrides assumption always. It’s the little signs that you must look
for i.e. the number left in the pocket, not answering calls or turning off the
phone (they didn’t do this before) and becoming distant are just some signs.
Being
nonchalant, blind or naïve to your discovery may result in ongoing acts from
your mate. Often times this will continue as long as “you” allow it. Many chances
are often given by the “strike three and
you’re out” theory, while others do not accommodate any grace period after
the first incident.
Unfortunately
most couples had gone through this at some stage in their life, via dating or
marriage. It’s associated with immaturity, no values etc., among other aspects.
Is one night of lust or short-lived encounters worth losing all you’ve built? Once
the decision is made to step out, the dynamic of the relationship will forever
be revised. The key factor of trust is difficult to regain. By betraying your
partner and altering the relationship, you’ve just nominated yourself to work
that much harder to keep it. You’ve heard the saying “if it’s not broke don’t fix it”, well testing waters elsewhere and being
reckless will definitely have you doing maintenance repairs. The grass isn’t
always greener on the other side and you just may inherit a slew of unwanted problems.
So, how do you get past it all? Forgiveness, building
trust and communication is a great start. Go back to the root of the problem to
correct it. Be positive and focus on moving forward in the right direction.
Respect and value the person whom you fell in love with to rekindle what you’ve
lost. Typically most women prefer to settle things as opposed to starting over
again, however certain variations and factors are considered. Taking a more
professional or spiritual route i.e. couple counseling, seeking advice from
your pastor etc. is a therapeutic way to go. True love conquers all and the
beauty lies within defeating outside chaos and the trials and tribulations you
encounter. Remember it takes two to make it successful, but if one is not
invested, it may be a recipe for failure. When you’ve exhausted all avenues,
unsuccessfully, maybe walking away is best. In the end, no one wishes to be the
designated fool or door mat to infidelity.
**Tell us how you handled the situation and how it turned out. Please leave a comment**
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